Fucked Up Japan

Many of us, and by us I mean you (plural) and not me at all, would love to be able to summon the courage to just go out on the street and start talking to a random loli - maybe invite her back for a coffee or something(?). Well, now you can “level up” your loli skills with the help of this excellent new training DVD entitled “Just watching” (or in Japanese, miteru dake). The DVD features a loli literally just looking at you, so you can practice what you’re going to say without fear of being horribly rejected.

Here’s an awesome clip. Listen out for the little moan at the end…

Not that it matters, but the DVD also features non-lolis. Whatever!

Original story via [JapanProbe]

If you prefer your lolis to be talking and showing more than just their face (I swear I didn’t mean it like that), take your pick from anyone of the imouto.tv models. YouTube user ImaxMovie has collected quite a few it seems…

By the way, if you had subscribed to the FuckedUpJapan VideoFeed (powered by listpod.tv), these videos would have already been downloaded to your iTunes or other podcatcher software by now! I’m just saying, that’s all…

UPDATE:

Moeside reminded me of another internet loli-alike you might be interested in. She goes by the name Magibon on youtube, and like Marmite, you’ll either love her or hate her.

A gruesome but darkly hilarious short (~70m) movie about 2 female housemates who secretly hate each and are each competing for the same part in a new movie. The first half of the movie explores their relationship and we are treated to not only what they are saying to each but they are thinking too. The tense atmosphere of who will get the part, the contrast of the geeky girl and the slut, it all combines with the stresses of living together and leads to the inevitable outcome of attempting to kill each other. We’ve all been there. The fight scenes are rather humorous but certainly not for the feint hearted

Download now from Piratebay, and remember to support these girls by buying the DVD from amazon below!

2LDK デラックス版 (野波麻帆)

Language note:

The title of this movie describes a fairly typical apartment style in Japan - 2 (bed)rooms, plus living / dining / kitchen area. Actually, the apartment in the movie is huge. Here’s a more common 2LDK, which you would expect to pay around $500 - $900 / per month, plus moving in fees and “gift money” to the landlord.

Notice how the living and dining room is actually the same thing. A lot of places also combine the kitchen too. Essentially, the antiquated apartment descriptions of 2LDK are just another way of lying. Japanese people have invented a lot of ways of lying to people, but mostly this is called “culture”. Like geisha - “not whores”, they cry, “they are sophisticated artisans skilled in many artistic abilities”. Lie! They are posh whores.

…And this time it’s serious - by which I mean it may actually affect me!

OCN/NTT Communications (read, my ISP) have announced a new daily *upstream* limit of 30gb in order to curb the heavy usage of a few p2p users - like myself, I guess. There are no current plans for a download limit, however they will send warnings to users found to be sharing files via the popular Japanese p2p application Winny .

Now 30gb may not seem like much to you, but when you have genuinely fast internet like myself…

30 gb uploaded is nothing, as you can see. Curious that my upload is actually faster than my download speed, though. According to speedtest.net, my internet is faster than 99% of everyone else who has taken the test, and is well above the Japanese national average of about 4 mb/sec.
Assuming my torrent seeds (for legal material, of course) were all running at maximum throughput, Azureus would rape 30gb in about 16 minutes. Yes, 16 fucking minutes. This could be a problem 128 minutes. Still a problem, despite my dodgy calculations.

For anyone else worried or affected by this fascistic limit, I did some calculations to figure out what the global upload speed limit should be set to so as to ensure the 30gb limit is never exceeded:

• Assuming you will be using your net for other things too like online gaming and such, let’s say a daily limit of 24 gb. That gives us a nice round figure of 1gb/hour to work with.
• 1,000 mb / 60 minutes works out at around 16.666 mb / minute.
• 16,666 kb / 60 seconds gives a final speed of 277 kb/s maximum. All decent torrent clients like Azureus and uTorrent allow you to set global speed limits.

So there you have it - set your upload limit to 270 kb and you should be safe. You might also want to turn on forced encryption and disallow torrent connections to unencrypted peers. This will make perfectly sure that your ISP has no idea what you’re actually transferring, even with deep packet inspection. I also highly suggest running PeerGuardian, which updates daily with lists of banned IPs, like anti p2p companies injecting torrents with corrupted data to fuck up your downloads, as well as various evil and / or governmental organizations that will harvest your IP address if they find you sharing and then proceed to sue your ass. You have been warned.

How fast is your internet? Does your ISP inflict insufferable limits? Answers in the comments, please!