Fucked Up Japan

Kei is one word for style, for example when talking about fashion. All my students right now seem to think they’re princess-kei - which means they (try to) dress like a real princess presumably would. Big fail, I can tell you.

This girl is loli-kei. She dresses like a fucking elementary school student. And the paipan part of the title, that means shaved. As if you didn’t know that.

Actress is Seira Takahashi - movie is uncensored presumably as it was intended for sale abroad even if the title is all in Japanese. Her talent is being shaved, judging by her other movies. And boy, what a talent.

Download and try!

Words cannot describe how wonderful it is to live in country full of hot little schoolgirls who bounce around in sailor uniform~ and judging by the google search keywords people are using to come here, I figured the majority of you would really enjoy this little picture from ByoNavi.

Or not. I apologise. In an effort to make up for my transgressions, here’s some real hotties over at Flickr Schoolgirl Uniform pool and Tokyo Teens.

In other news, someone did a survey of Japanese elementary students and found that 2.5% of grade 5 elementary school students (~10 yr olds?) regularly played adult video games with sexual content. This is despite the fact that around 95% had access to a video games console. This number is appalling. But what can we do to help? It is time for English teachers in Japan to unite on this national crisis:

Presenting the Fucked Up Japan 3-step response to Ero-Game access crisis:

1. Go hang out with the cool soccer club boys. They are the ones in charge of distributing illegal materials. Check their prices for ero-games - if they seem too high, be sure to fix the situation using any brutal gaijin powers at your disposal.

2. Try to befriend the bad girls of the 6th grade - these are the trend setters for the entire school. This may be problematic, as they will naturally do the opposite of everyone else. This is essential to their being cool, but ultimately everyone else with copy them and the trend cycle begins anew. You may have to resort to stalking them after school, taking pictures of them meeting with illicit JHS boyfriends, and blackmailing them. This can sometimes be the only language they understand. Once they have agreed to listen, you will instruct them on their new task of promoting ero-games to the female market. They should work on the fact that playing these games is good practice and you will seem “cuter” to potential mates.

3. Approach the geeks, rejects and general nobodies. They can be found either around the rabbit cages, or hiding in the trees on the school boundaries. Instruct them in the art of being cool and getting laid - key point being the use of ero-games. You may have to bring in and lend one of your own to get them hooked, but after that they will need to go through correct protocol to purchase their fix.

[picture credit: dannychoo.com]