Here is a Nihon Hack that some people may not know (if it hasn’t been posted yet). Living in Japan, one difficulty I have found is finding easy access to western style toliets. Sometimes you can end up in line waiting for a long time, or be unfortunate enough to not find a bathroom at all. the best soultion to this problem is the ever amazing convienience store (conbini)! Usually there is a clean, western style bathroom in most of your major name brand conbini’s like Lawson’s or 7/11. This has been a real life savor in busy places like Osaka!

Do spare a thought for poor Heidi, who was obviously disabled in a horrendous car crash and has been rendered unable to squat (or spell), thus can only use the advanced and far superior Western style of toilet. Hey Heidi - the convenience store also sells chocolate bars - did you know that?

Well, here’s my fucked-japan hack submission for you (if you are a complete ‘tard, that is)! Living in Japan, I often find myself hanging around bars and eventually wanting to piss. Sometimes I want to piss just once on the way home, sometimes even more! In situations like these, I find the best solution is to remember the Japanese custom of pissing anywhere, anytime. You see old Japanese men do it all the time, so fuck it - you should too. Japanese people are forever wanting foreigners to behave more like Japanese - now would be a damn good time to start!

(Image: zombiepanda)

Do you have any useful fucked-Japan hacks? Add them to the comments and I will republish them with no benefits whatsoever for you.

Seriously though, do check out the site as there some real treasures in there. If however, you have an issue with pissing (or shitting) into holes in the ground (aka Japanese style toilets), I suggest you read our previous post all about adult diapers.

One more random Japanese urine related pic if you read the full post…

According to Japan’s leading business newspaper Nikkei, sales of adult diapers have doubled over the past decade to 52.5 billion yen or $500 million annually. That’s one fuckload of stinky nappies. I personally assumed most of them were being sold to adult-baby festishists, but it seems they are actually designed for the growing elderly population. Fancy that, eh?

And what better way to showcase the needs of the old bastards then an adult diaper fashion show? Organized in part by the Aging Lifestyle Research Center, the show featured diaper-loving VOLUNTEER models walking the catwalk to the beat of ’80s hits like “Relax”, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. The show included scoring of various kinds of diaper, I assume according to comfiness, movability and suchlike.

Relaxing - and getting comfortable with the idea of adult diapers - was the whole point of the show. “Diapers are something that people don’t want to look at,” said Kiyoko Hamada of the ALRC, “but if you make them attractive, then people can learn about them more easily.”

You sure hit the doodie on the head there baby Kiyoko. In fact, if they put Hello Kitty on the front of some of the adult size diapers, you can bet your incontinent monkeys that a whole load of regular Japanese girls would be clambering to get at the pink feline’s newest fashion statement.

And for those of you who are just dying to see some cute J-girls in diapers, hit the “read more” jump.

These are all from the BabyGals Japan archive that closed it’s door this month. I’ll be reposting a torrent of it soon as I find a decent one, so keep an eye out for that.

“Let’s Slit Our Wrists! Yay yay! It’s so cute!”

“The design is cute! Even when you cut yourself, it doesn’t hurt! It makes the blood taste delicious!”

“On sale now, the cute design cutter!”

It’s actually from from the up and coming Tokyo Gore Police （東京残酷警察　tokyo zankoku keisatsu), the new movie from the makers of the previously mentioned Machine Girl and winner of 2008 Best Asian film award. You can preorder now on Amazon America (curiously I can’t find the DVD on Amazon Japan…). If machine girl is anything to go by, TGP Tokyo Gore Police is going to rock just as fucking hard. The story centers around Ruka, a cop from a squad who’s mission is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as “engineers” possessing the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself.

Will post the torrent too, soon as it is released. Please add in the comments if you can find it before I do!

Those are the only two words needed to describe this amazing new “augmented reality” device. Just watch the fucking video already.

Dubbed a “virtual girlfriend to beat up” by Feminist ‘tards who got hold of the story (you should read the comment threads at their site - always good for a laugh), she will busy herself cleaning when bored. You can “playfully” abuse her, dress her up in a variety of costumes, and give her little presents which she squeals with delight to. Actually, she’s not that far off from the majority of real Japanese girls. This amazingly cute new genre of webcam toy is most definitely not a joke, as some commenters on various sites have suggested. “Alice” is on sale now from Amazon Japan for around $100, and obviously I have already placed an order just for sheer novelty value. Sorry to say it can only be shipped within Japan currently - unless you want to pay me in which case I’ll see what I can do).

Once in a while, one of those games comes along that just reminds you why you are a gamer in the first place. The kind of games that make you pull an all-nighter, then call in sick the next week - Quake, Command and Conquer, Civilization… and now Fallout. At least, the 3rd installment. I have played Fallout 1 and 2, and even some of the weird spinoffs, but they never really dragged me in that deep due the difficulty and linearity. I always seemed to get to certain point, then would have absolutely no idea what to do next or would come up against some impossibly hard situation that I would just give up - and then just kill people, only to find after killing one person I had no option but to kill everyone else too. How did all those fuckers know I killed. Fallout 3 has totally changed that. I won’t bore you with a fanboy review - just suffice to say it freakin’ rocks.

More to the point though, is that living in Japan generally means you don’t get access to the most awesome games, and if they do get released at all it is invariably only in Japanese language versions. That’s where my wonderful friend PlayAsia comes in. They stock all the Asian versions of the games, the multilingual ones destined for countries in Asia that can actually speak English, unlike the ‘tarded Japanese who treat English learning as a hobby.

Of course, they also have the usual hentai import Japanese games and anime that otaku all over the world get wet for.

Anyway, there was a coupon that came with my order that gives $5 off minimum order $50, so hurry and get your dodgy import games (or English language versions for us Japan residents) before Christmas. Coupon ends as soon as someone uses it or on 29 December 2008, whichever comes first. Read the full post for the coupon code!

AE-GAV-TZP

From the team of most awesome design and innovation ever Tomy Toys Japan comes the Hi-Kara, a karaoke machine that literally fits in your pocket. You feed the $100 machine with proprietary cartridges that cost about $22 for 10 songs, and the device spits out a video and words on the teeny tiny LCD screen. How freaking awesome is that? Haven’t you always wanted to be able to do Karaoke on the go? Sadly, it seems like only a bunch of gay j-pop shit is available at the moment, so perhaps I’ll hold out on buying a ton for Xmas presents just yet. Read about all the ridiculously priced accessories for yourself at Tomy Japan site.

In Japan, they’re pretty big on the all-you-can-eat style of… eating. It’s called TABEHODAI, and there’s also usually NOMIHODAI for all-you-can-drink alcohol too. I have tabehodai Korean BBQ and tabehodai Italian quite a lot, and I always get nomihodai beer when I go to karaoke, but this weekend I dared to experience the wonder of tabehodai “sweets” at a place called SWEETS PARADISE in Kyoto. Truth be told, I’m rather partial to a bit of chocolate and have a what some might call a sweet tooth - when I was in elementary school I would come home and make my own dessert-snack that consisted of ice cream, sugar, icing sugar, random syrup and chocolate sprinkles.

So it was with absolutely no fear that I specifically avoided eating dinner that Sunday night and calmly entered into my 90 minutes of all-you-can-eat cake paradise at precisely 8:10 pm, and was immediately given a chirpy waitress that the chocolate fountain would be closing at 9pm. “The chocolate fountain?” I enquired, only to be told sternly to shut up my girlfriend because she would explain later - our time was already ticking, you know. The chocolate fountain, you see, is just that. It’s like a little prop from the Wonka Factory set, only real - the chocolate bursts neatly out of the top and forms 3 separate cascades of pure happiness, into which one is encouraged to immerse small dry cakes, marshmallows and suchlike - and then add a healthy dose of sprinkles.

I heartily tackled my first full plate. I felt so naughty. If only my mother could see me now. Instead, a table full of high school girls is watching me instead. Its fine, I tell myself, they don’t know me. There’s only about 3 guys in this place, and one is a waiter. Fuck, am I gay for coming here? No dammit, I’m with my girl. Just need to get down to the business of eating cake.

The first plate over, I was feeling like now I’d had my main course, and possibly it was time for dessert. Back for more, 8:16.

8:21 - I’m halfway through my second plate of cakes and second side dish of chocolate fountain-ized marshmallow and sponge cake things (with sprinkles). Starting to feel a little queesy.

8:25 - Done. Fuck this. I made it this far. 2 full plates, who could ask for more? My girlfriend scolds me - what waste, we’re only 15 minutes into our 90 minutes alloted time. I feel utterly disappointed in myself. She refuses to eat more cake, though she is perfectly able - eating cake alone just isn’t fun. She grabs a bowl of pasta to sulk, while I work out if I’ll be able to ever eat cake again.

[via Akibanews]

An awful lot of Japanese people are complete monkeys though.

Think he got unwillingly roped into that report? Bullcrap, I suspect he volunteered. All Japanese guys are babies at heart, they just want a girl to mother them and take care of their food and washing. Can’t blame them really, since most of them see more of the office than their family home. It’s not just the boys though, apparently.

Not so the onsen operators:

While geothermal power projects may help cut the country’s $183-billion (U.S.) bill for imported fuel, owners of Japan’s 7,700 spa resorts say baths could dry up, damaging an industry that attracted 137 million bathers last year. No spas have reported damage from geothermal plants, though owners say that’s because it’s difficult to prove and reporting problems may drive away customers.

Clearly, the energy in the earth will get all used up if we build more geothermal energy plants, and then onsens would stop being hot baths and would instead have to market themselves as cold baths, and then suddenly Japan would start a rumor that cold baths have always been an important part of Japanese culture, and then some Japanese historians and big-up important scientist (at least, only in Japan, for most of their work is laughed at on a global scale) would appear on TV claiming that cold baths are better for the Japanese body because it is different from the Western body.

OR perhaps the real reason onsen operators is so upset is because it would mean an end their regular sunday geothermal rape sessions?

[original bloomberg via japanprobe]

BULLSHIT BAD POINTS:

There’s been a lot of criticism over how crap the iPhone actually is when compared to the fantastically more advanced Japanese phones, so I think I’d like to go through some of it and explain the bullshit away, since most of the criticism seems to come from people who obviously don’t have an iPhone or maybe not even Japanese phone, like the commenters over and JapanProbe. I’m guessing a lot of shit is hyped about Japanese phones, but let me tell you they really aren’t all that, even when the interface is in English.

Read on for the full review…

1. No eMoji on the iPhone - TRUE: But anyone who uses eMoji is gay

eMoji are gay little pictures that you can put into your emails, like a 5×5 pixel birthday cake or an Aquarius sign. Thanks, but I’ll live without them and instead choose the far more efficient option of WORDS typed into a FULLSIZE KEYBOARD. As for writing kanji, I never bothered with my old phone as you have to first search for the right button with the kana on it, then convert.. with the iPhone you can just type in romaji like you would on a keyboard and it will convert it the same way a PC does, with a system we are all already familiar with. With the efficiency of the iphone keyboard and input system meaning I can use two hands (fingers?) to type, I’m actually writing a lot more in real grammatically correct English!

2. 60-80,000 yen price tag - SEMI-TRUE: But only for skanky foreigners

If you’re a tourist who’s trying to buy an iPhone here because you can’t get one abroad, they will charge you that much. If you live here however, like most of us do, and have a decent credit history, you will not pay a thing upfront. Obviously, you are paying for the phone throughout the life of your 2 year+ contract, but thats a given and the same anywhere with any phone.

3. Can’t read QR-Codes - BULLSHIT:

There is a free app to do that. It reads every kind of QR-Code / 2D barcode, not just maker specific ones just the Japanese made phones do.

4. No TV - TRUE: But do we give a shit?

Seriously, do you watch TV on your phone? Why? Are you some kind of ADHD ‘tard that cannot stand to be away from your nonsense dramas for 1 fucking hour on the train ride home? Jesus, Japanese TV sucks balls and I do not want to watch it. It will rot your brain and make you believe stupid things, like Natto is good for you, or earthquakes can be predicted by some ridiculous Brazilian psychic knobhead. Go download some quality BBC documentaries and try sticking them on your shitty little Japanese keitai~ Getting any form of audio or video on or off a Japanese phone is a Fuji-sized mission filled with unstandard formats and DRM bullshit.

5. No electronic wallet / payment devices - TRUE: Seriously, are you stupid enough to keep money on your phone?

Even in Japan, the safest country in the world (?), the idea of having a non-secured payment system attached to your mobile phone is pretty retarded. Credit cards were invented for a reason, to be secured with the use of a 4-digit security number - and now we want to just say “fuck all that progress, I want to have the payment automatically taken from my account when I wave my phone around!” - someone please shoot the soap-brained moron Japanese guy that thought of that one.

REAL BAD POINTS:

So are there any fucked up things about using an iPhone in Japan? Well, Softbank decided to make their own customized implementation of the mail-push protocol, the upshot of which is that if you use the mail address they give you, you get no audible or tactile indication when you get new mail, just a black screen with a little white text in Japanese and (bad) English that pops up when you next switch on. To solve this problem, I’ve stopped using the standard @i.softbank.jp address and gone with Apple’s MobileMe, which has a host of other benefits but does cost real money (real money meaning it comes from my Japanese account, as opposed to my English account, for which I will never again check the balance of and hence isn’t real money anyway).

TOTALLY AWESOME GOOD POINTS:

1. Multilingual capabilities coming out of every orifice.

Finally, a phone lets easily switches between writing in English and writing in Japanese, and even Chinese and every other fucking language you could ever need. Fast and painless. Yay for Apple being not prejudiced against other languages, and boo for Japanese phones that don’t even make the effort. I believe the iPhone has already been described elsewhere as the gaijin who speaks great Japanese, and I totally understand why. If Japan would just let their guard down for one second and let this little gaijin rent an apartment, it would all be a lot better.

2. Apps. REAL Apps.

Sure Japanese phones have apps, but frankly they suck and they run in super-slow Java. The coolest app I found so far on the iPhone is Wordpress and Google Maps. Now whenever I’m out and about, I can upload panty-shots directly to the site! And as for maps and GPS, it simply works awesome. Japanese phone owners claim to have had built in GPS for years, but whenever I ask them to show me they get flustered after fumbling through menus and have no clue how to actually use the thing, so it clearly isn’t that good or in the slightest bit useable. The only feature I would request is the ability to edit your own special maps that are tied to your google account, so for example I have a map of the abandoned buildings that I find on my travels, and would love to be able to add bookmarks to it on the go, rather than send the location of the building to my home mail address and do the editing when I get back.

3. A better sounding phone.

Not sure how to justify this, but it totally sounds better and I never have problems figuring out what the other person is saying now. Is this something to with 3G, perhaps? No idea.

So there it is. I would strongly recommend anyone living in Japan to get an iPhone as it will make your mobile life so much easier, and getting one really isn’t that hard in the slightest. In fact, I would recommend it t any Japanese person too, but I doubt there are any reading this blog and I also doubt anyone beyond otaku would have the slightest interest in a gaijin phone.

via nipofelia

BYOCAT (Bring your own cream and tea)

Source: our new partner, temporarily being hosted on our server space until they have themselves up and running.. [Cute Little JGirls]

Aimed specifically at Otaku (or rather, “men in their 20s who aren’t very good at meeting people” were the exact words I think), and standing a rather useless 38cm high, EMA is the stuff of sci-fi legends in a slightly limited toy form. Like a modern geisha, EMA (which stands for something so stupid it isnt worth explaining) sings, dances with built-in and programmable moves, reacts to music, hands out (a) business card, and kisses you.

Huh? Yeh. She kisses you, when you bring your hand or face near. You have to watch video if you don’t believe me.

Due out this month for just Sess than $200 from Sega, who had this to say at a recent toy fair:

she is indeed an entirely new type of female entertainment robot.

A playful glimpse of the future, methinks. Reminds me of the Outer Limits episode with the holographic girl house management software representation who could only get some with her master in a special sensory chamber, and eventually punished him for wanting someone real. How long before these robots are life size with space to plug in your wank-cup I wonder? I think it’s fairly fucking obvious that’s where they’re headed with this right?

Via [japansugoi]

Very creative, see, the genius at work there (no reference to the latest iTunes, whose “genius sidebar” for recommending songs should really be renamed the random iTunes store content grabber of unrelated shit) - the mix of 2D and 3D, bringing the ever longed for perfect loli into our lame little existence of reality.

Wait… wait… He’s milking her penis~ ? wtf?

Outside is a line of five men, each of whom is eagerly awaiting his turn to grab (with both hands) the bare buttocks and breasts of two adult video (AV) actresses five times for 1,000 yen - with all the proceeds being used for research to prevent the spread of the HIV virus and AIDS.

What a wonderful to dirty old otaku do something good for society! The “24 hour TV: Eroticism saves the Earth” event is held annually and last year raised as much as ¥2,000,000 yen. Actually, that isn’t an awful lot. It’s about 7 months wages for me. But still, good job guys!

I wonder if there are rules regarding nipple pinching or bum smacking?

Conspicuous by its absence is the “Tekoki Jinja,” or hand-job shrine, which debuted four years ago and allowed visitors to receive three minutes of intense stroking at the hands of an AV pro for 3,000 yen. In lieu of this form of worship, Suzuki explains, the buttocks squeeze debuted this year instead.

Credit: TokyoReporter

Fifteen officers were dispatched to the scene, where they discovered a human form wrapped in plastic and tightly bound around the neck, midriff and ankles, with hair protruding from one end.

The body was left untouched and taken away for examination, and the crime scene duly secured by a police cordon.

Back at the local police headquarters, officials notified reporters who had turned up early the same morning to cover an annual earthquake drill. They began preparing to write up the launch of a major murder investigation.

Dozens of extra officers were dispatched to interview potential witnesses, while the evening edition of the local newspaper carried a report of the gruesome find, complete with a photograph of the body’s resting place.

By mid-afternoon, the body was in the hands of police pathologists. But when they sliced open the wrapping, they were confronted not by a decomposing corpse, but by a life-sized sex doll.

Truly, a retarded bunch of dicks. Another popular police past time in Kyoto around the station is to randomly stop foreigners and demand their passport or gaijin card, then write their details down in a little book and ask fucking stupid questions like “why are you here in the train station today?”~ and if you dare to reply “you fucktard, I’m catching a fucking train” then you can be held in jail for up to 2 weeks with no charges, and even worse, be forced to eat shitty Japanese food everyday.

Oh, thanks to JapanProbe for the story. Sorry if some of you are having trouble with frames and overlapping content, I’m trying to narrow down the issue but I suspect the template is just too damn wide. Currently considering new template options.

View Larger Map

Anyway, suffice to say I wasn’t satisfied without breaking in somewhere, so we drove on for a bit and found a giant Ferris wheel that appeared to be not moving. Usually a good sign. Further investigation and a number of very dodgy u-turns and we finally made it to the abandoned theme park! Not sure about it’s technical Japanese name, but it was once the biggest Ferris wheel in the world (I think we got that one covered in London now), and is situated right next to the Biwako Ohashi (big bridge over lake Biwa).

Abandoned theme park, Shiga Ohashi

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid= 104288505015363125869.000455d104ab5dc014e6c

14 Photos

Also, this story on JapanProbe caught my eye: ALTs out in the butt-fuck countryside using an abandoned hotel for BB fights… Awesome. Check out the very dodgy filmed video below.

Love Hotels

Mostly original images taken from various love hotels around the Kansai region. I tend to towards the kinkier side, so you won't find your standard affair here, only the best of SM and themed rooms.

57 Photos

Fucked Up Figures

from the Wonderfest 2007 / 2008 custom figurine exhibition. Truly, a testament to how utterly fucked this country and it's otaku are...

32 Photos

Beautiful Asses

A little appreciation for gorgeous Japanese asses

32 Photos

Fucked Avatars

Watch gallery

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2. Added a top referrers and popular posts plugin. The top referrers plugin (on the left,midway down) will show all significant incoming links, including those not on the blogroll or who don’t want a link exchange (which I’m always looking out for by the way, preferably using this button:). Checking out the incoming links might help you to find some similar sites of interest. Popular posts (on the right hand side) is pretty interesting too, showing overall the most read articles. Fascinating stuff, indeed, but don’t get too excited.

Now to rewrite the J-porn introduction page to include all new pictures and torrents too! ‘Tis gonna be a busy weekend.

How are you all feeling about the new design?

The true wonder of these movies truly cannot be described with words, but suffice to say they involve swirling uncut sausage mince meat at one point and custom made thorny vibrator skins, with overtures of badly dubbed slime and grunting noises.

Enjoy!

(Here is another cover from 1 of the 3 movies included in this set)

By the way, hosting and domain renewal is up for the site, and the ads on the side have yet to reach the payout threshold, so I’ve decided to start using linkbucks for some of the links on the site, starting with the one above. It’s basically just a short redirection that will show an ad for 5 seconds before automatically sending you on your way. I’m sorry if this bothers you, but this website takes time, effort and money to maintain. I don’t value my time or effort that much as I mainly do this as a hobby and not a business, but I would like to have the expenses for the hosting covered at least. I’ll see how linkbucks performs, and do please post your opinions in the comments.

Remember: More visitors = More motivation for me to post more torrents, and don’t forget to continuing commenting!

Tentacle porn coming soon…watch this space for the torrent!

I’ve always wondered what the inside of a soapland looks like, but gaijin generally can’t get it. I imagine them to be pits of inexcusable sexploitation in love-hotel like rooms of grotesque beauty. That is of course, unless the place goes out of business and becomes a “haikyo”, or abandoned building, upon which my interest is suddenly piqued. As it was for this fellow John who wrote a wonderful piece about the experience along with some great pictures and even a video! Here’s a little snippet:

The Queen Chateau Soapland Haikyo in Mito, Ibaraki, is at once a grand but squalid folly. A bath-based brothel rising 5 fairy-tale stories into the sky, cornered with towers and capped with bright red tile, it represents an era gone mad with indulgence, audacity, and hopefulness. Now it lies in crippled ruin, its bright colors fading, its halycon days of glamor and glitz surplanted by ghost-like hangings in its dim and dusty bars.

Check out the full article and photoset at his blog, [MichaelJohnGrist.com]

If anyone knows of any haikyo in Kyoto prefecture (expecially love hotels) and would care to drop me a Google map of the place, I would love to go urban exploring myself and post the pictures / videos here!~ We could even make a fuckedup get-together daytrip out of it! Let’s happy fun breaking into abandoned Japanese buildings!

Alternatively, you could just