Onyanko Club was a huge Japanese pop idol group during the 80’s - indeed the original precursor Morning Musume. Though they lasted only 2 years from 1985-1987, the group had 54 rotating members. This often changed though, due to the strict policy of no smoking and no boyfriends.

The name (おニャン子クラブ) comes from the Japanese sound word NYAN NYAN, which is the sound a kitten makes. So their name might literally be translated as “The Kitty Club”, however NYAN NYAN also relates to sexual activity, or sexual harassment of women, so one might also be tempted to translate it as “The Pussy Club”. Members were all in the 20-ish age range.

Though similarities to modern day Mo-Musu can be found, the subject matter and lyrical content of Onyanko Club was, to put it lightly, really fucking risque. Their debut song was entitled “Sailor fuku wo nugasanaide”, which means “Don’t make me take my school uniform off”. Here’s a translation of the lyrics and accompanying video:

Don’t make me take my school uniform off. Not now. Be patient.
Don’t make me take my school uniform off. It’s bad, it’s wrong to do it here.

Girls are always “mimidoshima” (a girl who experiences sexual activity through other people’s stories)
I’m studying everyday.

I want to have sex, before my friends.
But I’m afraid to go further than kissing.

I want to have sex, like that shown in the weekly magazines.
But giving you everything would be a waste, so I won’t give it to you.

Don’t make me take off my sailor uniform.
You’ll turn up everything up ’til my skirt.
Don’t make me take off my sailor uniform
Don’t untie the ribbon on my chest.

What do boys do at that time?
I’m so interested!
Ah, such a mystery!

I’m invited on a date.
It’s boring to be a virgin.
Mom and dad don’t know
About us staying out tomorrow night.

I’m a little scared,
But it’s boring to be a virgin.
I’ll become an old-lady, so before that
Eat my delicious heart.

Read more at the heavily biassed Encyclopedia Idollica, whose author seems to serious dislike the 12 year old pedo-bait members of Morning Musume; and The PPN Wiki.

Tons of Onyanko Club videos on Google Video

Myこれ！クション おニャン子クラブBEST おニャン子クラブ ポニーキャニオン 2001-12-05 売り上げランキング : 30934 おすすめ平均 Amazonで詳しく見る by G-Tools

Based on the novel by Takami Koushun, Battle Royale become highly controversial in a short time. The plot is simple - in effort to curb truancy and misbehaving students, the Japanese government enacts the B.R. act, in which a class of high school students is chosen at random and forced to play a real life last-man standing death match on a remote island. Though the plot is simplistic and the blood flows freely, the strength of this movie lies in the characterization and their interactions throughout.

The first time I watched this, I thought it was just a great movie, if a little excessive with gore - though this can only be expected with subject matter in question. Then I moved to Japan and began teaching Japanese schools, and it suddenly took on a whole new level. I began to really associate with some of the characters and consequently it became a whole lot more moving experience.

Either way, it’s an amazing film and a must-see for anyone even slightly interested in Japanese culture, schooling, and high school girls maiming each other. The gore takes a back seat as you begin to care about each of the poor students chosen and their individual motivations. Go get the directors cut now, @ PirateBay.

Plot Outline:

Ami (Minase Yashiro, in her film debut) is a tough but otherwise average high school girl, trying to lead a normal life. Her world comes crashing down when her brother and his friend are killed by ruthless bullies.

As Ami tracks down the ringleader, she is surprised to discover the bullies’ association with a sinister ninja yakuza family. When she goes after her revenge, she soon finds herself in over her head and minus her left arm. Barely surviving, Ami escapes and seeks out shelter from two kindly garage mechanics. They take pity on her, fitting her with a high-powered machine gun where her arm used to be. She then teams up with the chainsaw-wielding mother (Asami) of her brother’s slain friend and together they unleash an unholy, non-stop, over-the-top kill fest against the equally creative machinery (drill bra, flying guillotine) of their relentless ninja enemies.

Download now @ Piratebay.org then buy the DVD @ Amazon

Want more torrent downloads? Write more comments, and I’ll consider it! Actually, I’ll be adding more in the coming weeks anyway, but just wanted to let you know I do really appreciate any and all comments.

Also, we haven’t forgotten about the promised video interview with our very own gaijin host, so make sure you write questions you want asked in the comments of Tales from a Gaijin Host pt. 1

Words cannot describe how wonderful it is to live in country full of hot little schoolgirls who bounce around in sailor uniform~ and judging by the google search keywords people are using to come here, I figured the majority of you would really enjoy this little picture from ByoNavi.

Or not. I apologise. In an effort to make up for my transgressions, here’s some real hotties over at Flickr Schoolgirl Uniform pool and Tokyo Teens.

In other news, someone did a survey of Japanese elementary students and found that 2.5% of grade 5 elementary school students (~10 yr olds?) regularly played adult video games with sexual content. This is despite the fact that around 95% had access to a video games console. This number is appalling. But what can we do to help? It is time for English teachers in Japan to unite on this national crisis:

Presenting the Fucked Up Japan 3-step response to Ero-Game access crisis:

1. Go hang out with the cool soccer club boys. They are the ones in charge of distributing illegal materials. Check their prices for ero-games - if they seem too high, be sure to fix the situation using any brutal gaijin powers at your disposal.

2. Try to befriend the bad girls of the 6th grade - these are the trend setters for the entire school. This may be problematic, as they will naturally do the opposite of everyone else. This is essential to their being cool, but ultimately everyone else with copy them and the trend cycle begins anew. You may have to resort to stalking them after school, taking pictures of them meeting with illicit JHS boyfriends, and blackmailing them. This can sometimes be the only language they understand. Once they have agreed to listen, you will instruct them on their new task of promoting ero-games to the female market. They should work on the fact that playing these games is good practice and you will seem “cuter” to potential mates.

3. Approach the geeks, rejects and general nobodies. They can be found either around the rabbit cages, or hiding in the trees on the school boundaries. Instruct them in the art of being cool and getting laid - key point being the use of ero-games. You may have to bring in and lend one of your own to get them hooked, but after that they will need to go through correct protocol to purchase their fix.

[picture credit: dannychoo.com]

Japanese are traditionally rather reserved when it comes to being intimate in public. Holding hands is OK, but anything beyond that, even a little peck on the cheek is out of bounds, and will be considered “meiwaku” (a nuisance) to those around you.

As you can see though school kids nowadays just don’t give a crap about those kind of rules.

Even the little ones are barefacedly defiant against the tradition~

.Caption in top right reads, I think “Look Mom! The kids can wash the car by themselves“.
Fortunately, gaijin (foreigners) like myself are forgiven for our barbaric ways… I warned my japanese girlfriend before we started going out that I would be kissing her (if not touching her up~) in public, so she was prepared. As for outdoor sex? It’s on my girls to-do list, but I’m not too keen on the idea of ants in my asscrack. I’ve seen a Japanese couple going at it once though - a businessman and a hooker in a pretty off-the-beaten-track hiking route in Northern Kyoto. Urgh, it was kinda gross actually. Annoying thing is, they were blocking the riverside hiking route we were walking down. Inconsiderate bastards. We couldn’t pass by any other route, and if we got any closer that they would know we had seen them… what do you do in a situation like that? We decided to backtrack our steps a little, then come around the corner again really noisily, so they would get the message there were people coming and they should bloody well clear off now. Maybe they really wanted to be seen though? Later at little mountain train station, they both went up to the bridge over the train tracks that connects platforms, and while guy stood behind the railings, the random hooker went down on him. His emotionless face scared me the most.

Some girls really don’t mind baring it all in public~ like this little cutie! Click the pic for more full size NSFW photos.