Fucked Up Japan

Akihabara has been in a poor state lately. The real geek stores are closing down and being replaced by expensive brand name stores attracted to the deluge of tourists; the police are cracking down on maids advertising their maidly services in the streets; foreign lolis are parading the streets, perverting the Japanese otaku with their Western loli ways… and now there’s a porn-star called Asuka hanging around, climbing on railings and opening her legs up for the world to see. Hooligans, I say.

The little harlot has even made her way onto national news! I think perhaps her real motive is to distract the police from bothering the maids as they ply their wares. It certainly doesn’t seem to be doing anything positive for the general Akiba PR, but more importantly - she’s clearly in her late thirties, and not in the slightest bit hot (compared with other Japanese girls that is, I mean she’s like a fucking goddess compared to most British or America girls you see nowadays).

Someone ought to point these dumbass Otaku to some real porn, like <blatant plug> TokyoTeens </blatant plug>.

via [akibablog]

Dude, dude, c’mere, you gotta check this hardcore shit out~

Let it be known that Japan has always pushed the boundaries of eroticism, as we can see from this innovative “3D nude magazine“, with a complimentary pair of 3D glasses and instructions on how to use “use” them. From looking at the date on the front cover, I can only make out that it comes from a period of history known distinctly as “November Issue“.

Featuring such erotic 3D poses as this “woman with granny underwear in front of sexually suggestive drum kit“.

More pictures here @ AhoAho

Happy New Year!

YourAVHost is a new mash up site that indexes all the japanese porn found at YourFileHost, and organizes it all nicely in one place. I had a quick check through and there no broken links at the time of writing, so it all seems legit (legit used in the loosest sense of the word). Don’t expect to find any of the rarer fetish videos here, but there’s certainly enough meat and two veg here and even some maid cosplay to keep your monkey spanked for at least a continuous heavenly week. Videos are helpfully tagged too, so if you know the japanese kanji or kana of your favourite AV star, check out the tag cloud~

[via yusukebe]

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Who~da thunk it? Another random group of schoolgirls, otherwise known as relatively lame j-pop / idol group AKB48, have been applying their short-skirted talents to promoting an equally lame DS game, Kanji-something, which involves a patented learning method of circling kanji parts you don’t understand using the stylus.

Hit Kotaku for the original story, and a music video from the girls entitled “I wanted to meet you! Yes!”.

On a side note, I find it interesting how many Kanji learning software titles are available, not for foreigners trying to learn Japanese, but for Japanese themselves to learn Japanese. A university level Kanji ability (~2000) means you can read the average newspaper. Japanese people themselves can spend their entire lives trying to remember the rest of 20,000 odd kanji that are very occasionally used. Famous authors are known to invent new Kanji when the whim takes them. In a word, Kanji suck … discuss!

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And be sure to check out our newest article, Japanese Porn (NSFW)

Technorati Tags: game, idol, kanji, lolicon, Nintendo DS, schoolgirls

Japanese porn is generally a wonderful thing, but it has darker sides too. Join me now on a virtual tour of a Japanese Porno-store… hold on tight though, it’s one hell of a ride.

The Censor

The funny thing about Japanese porn is the censor - it’s illegal to show down there without some kind of blurry censor job. Japanese officials even go to great lengths sorting through foreign imported porn with a black felt pen to make sure no foreign penises make into the Japanese market either. On the other hand, Japanese porn destined for export only is exempt from the censor restriction, hence why you can usually get uncensored j-porn on various foreign hosted sites. The censor was introduced during the Meiji Era to “protect public morals”, but when WWII was over, it was one of the few laws the Americans decided to keep.

I’m afraid to call the following stuff porn, but it can all be found alongside regular porn and is clearly designed to be wank-material for somebody. So let’s take a look:

Lolicon and Junior Idol

Softcore child porn was actually legal in Japan until as recently as 1999, when international pressure forced Japan to take action. And action they took - instead of softcore child porn, the market redirected it’s attention to junior idol photobooks and DVDs. While most junior idols are around the 11-15 age, some such as Nanami have started off their modelling career as young as 6 (pictured left). The DVDs and photobooks showcase the young models in a variety of uniforms and swimsuits, some mostly harmless and some pretty racey, but never nude.

But even within the junior idol collection there’s some super weird stuff, like the “Tickling School Haunted House Tag-game”. The young models life is apparently more difficult than I thought, as the box shots seem to suggest the 3 girls just get tickled for 90 minutes. Tough break, girls.

And then there seems to be entire subgenre of Lolicon Cosplay, as with the “Cat Model Project”; these girls are certainly cute in a little-girl-wearing-kitty-ears kind of way, but they *really* ought to put more clothes on:

Junior idols generally go on to make random girlie j-pop music groups, some become adult Idols, and thankfully very few go into the porn business.

Can it perhaps be argued though that the existence of junior idol video material etc. satiates japanese lolicon desires, rather than forcing them to outlet themselves on real children? Sadly, the evidence says no, with Japan still having one of the highest rates of child abuse in the world - but there are so many more fucked up parts of japanese culture that it’s really hard to pin anything on the junior idol boom. In the world of hentai manga for example, a large proportion of which is read by your average Satoshi on the subway journey home, raping small girls is a common theme - and these types of manga are for more likely to be responsible for peoples attitudes towards child abuse. In Japan especially, manga is a trusted and commonly used medium for conveying everything from morality through traditional stories to the official government advisory on condom use.

Beasty-Love

Recently on the rise and now seen prominently on the shelf-space of any akiba porn store is beast-on-girl action. Bestiality porn is not unique to Japan by any means, but what is unique is that in Japan, it is sold over the counter just like any other meat and-two-veg porn. Also remarkably, dogs are not afforded the same “covered bits” censor dignity that human penises are subjected to, as this DVD sleeve shows (sorry, any bigger and it would probably be super-illegal, and that’s worse than just illegal). It’s a sequel too, so thats a good indicator that the market liked part 1! Japan is also home to the first ever lesbian dog scene, with a female dog wearing a strap on. Quite.

It not just dogs that are in on the action though, oh no. Eels, worms, frogs, goldfish, sea cucumbers, and even Octopus have their own little niche market cornered. Like the appropriately titled “Morale Lesbian Wriggles and Cumming Octopus Wriggles” (this is their translation, not mine):

From the producer, Daikichi Amano:

I managed to acquire these fresh octopus after getting to know the owner of a specialist restaurant. Octopus can bite. Not many people know that. When the actress got bitten and started bleeding, I had to briefly stop the shoot. The suckers were more powerful than I expected; so strong that they turn skin purple. Watch the actresses in torment as the octopus slides and sucks on their skin.Afterwards, we had them deep-fried and with rice.

Remote Control Vibrators

One particular Japanese porn producer called SOD really pushes the boundaries of erotic entertainment, like “Remote Control Vibrator Club”. High school girls are equipped with a remote control vibrator and told to perform various tasks out on the street, like take a photo with 5 people. At any point, the show host can activate the vibrator, and we see the ensuing panic and embarrassment. A little ON / OFF icon in the corner of the screen let’s you know the current state:

Age and Diaper Play

Confined to dodgy internet groups and German fetish DVDs for the rest of world, Japan continues it’s tradtion of shunning foreigners and chose to produce it’s own homegrown adult baby porn - from girls in diapers;

… to guys pretending to be little boys with a crush on their super hot homeroom teacher:

The rest of it - animation

That’s only the *real* porn; once you get into animation, pretty much anything goes - tentacle rape, demon schoolgirls, demon schoolgirls with tentacles raping other school who don’t have tentacles… etc
(image is the lighter side of tentacle porn)

If you’d like to download some of this weird shit, head on over to Akiba Online forums and torrent site. They have regular porn too. For the extreme fetish stuff, Genki-Genki is a pay-to-download site in English.

For a fairly thorough and technical rundown including Japanese names on the various kinds of porn available here, check out the wikipedia article. The pictures suck though. Hello Damage also has a wonderful dictionary of Hentai Japanese terms.

One unique aspect of Japanese weirdness not limited to Otaku is the “comfort” pillow. For years, anime girl bedsheets and pillow covers have been available at all the usual Otaku cons, but then came the shaped huggable pillow, pictured below. The beauty of these pillows is that you can either call it your pillow, or your girlfriend, and no one will notice the difference. Sheer genius.

But, like I said, not limited to Otaku. A Japanese company called Kameo brought out the man pillow a few years, for struggling single girls to feel like they are loved at night. With a real arm extending out that she can cling to, the pillow will never roll over so it’s back is facing you (something j-girls seems to be rather offended by) or demand it’s arm back 10 minutes later due to “pins and needles…”. As one happy single lady stated:

It keeps holding me all the way through. I think this is great because this does not betray me.

Indeed, a girl with issues… The company enjoyed roaring success, and soon after launched the womans lap version for guys, complete with short skirt. Personally I prefer no skirt when my head is lying on a girls crotch, but each to their own I guess.

Maybe the company should just start a dating site to get all those single girls and single guys together.

(Credit to our devoted reader Chris in England for pointing me to these)

Technorati Tags: culture, fetish, jgirls, otaku, pillow, pillowsex, single, weird

Technorati Tags: cosplay, crossdressing, culture, maeken toransu, music, nimaxx, puppy, schoolgirls, youtube

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