Fucked Up Japan

A close friend has begun working as a gaijin host and of course given us here at Fucked Up Japan exclusive rights to his stories. So here we present you with part 1!

If you have any questions you’d like to ask, write them as a comment or twitter @fuckedupjapan and I’ll include them in a video interview when I bug him on his only day off (^_^)

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I don’t know how it happened again, but I find myself working as a host once more in Japan. This time in the Gion district, better known as Geisha-town.

Life as a new host (shinji) is quite arduous. While established hosts can earn enough to live a life of luxury, until you become shimei (someone who has been chosen by a customer to always “be their man”), new hosts will often work for a very low hourly wage. Add to that a 12 hour shift, no breaks, constant alcohol consumption and you start to understand how eager those guys standing out on the street are to catch some customers.

But wait, you’re still thinking “Get paid to drink and pickup Japanese girls….where do I sign up?”, right?

Granted, there are real perks to the job. The majority of girls who come into my host club are stunners, not like someone out of Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigalo. Many customers are hostesses themselves or mama-sans (female boss, Mama) of the hostess clubs and other mizu-shoubai (water trade / sexual services) establishments.

My job now as a shinji is to follow the established hosts. When their customer comes to the club, a senior host may request for me to come and sit at their table. Being a white gaijin (foreigner in japan), the customer will often ask directly for me to join them - to which I must obediently comply. Once at the table, my first role is to serve the drinks, usually sake (Japanese rice wine, pronounced sah-keh), and tend to the needs of both the customer and my seniors. Being Japan, there are rituals to how everything should be handled and what formal phrases should be spoken as some actions are performed. Whilst assisting at the table, I am also in host mode, so I have to help keep the atmosphere high at the table. Keeping the customers happy is done via any means necessary - karaoke, making jokes, talking dirty, drinking games, etc.

Drinking is a huge part of the job, at this club, especially. Most customers have their own “keep bottle”, which can be any type of alcohol with a little dog tag on it to remember who’s is who’s. At the table, the customer will usually share this bottle with a number of hosts. Once the bottle runs dry, we ask the customer if she would like another of the same or different, to which they always order another. Bottle prices start at $100 or so and go right up to $9,000 or more for some champagnes. Hosts at the table are as such encouraged to drink away as much of the customers bottle as possible.

It’s the kind of job where you can’t safely ride your motorbike home (sadly), or type coherently for few hours after finishing work, so I should probably continue this next time!