Fucked Up Japan

I love the way my auto spellchecker is telling me wonderwank isn’t a real word, silly Apple…
I’m sure a lot of my readers are wannabe otaku, so I hope this post serves as a warning to how depraved the world of figurines can go, and why you should get out now. Over the past few days, an awful lot of pictures and material has emerged from the Wonderfest 2008 otaku-orgy, where toy makers show off their latest erotic figurines and cosplayers get to carry fake guns and swords - so I thought we should take a look at some highlights, if you can call them that. Just don’t expect any otaku oriented wank material like details of the company / figurine name and plastic material used in production of the figure, dimensions etc; because you should know by now I don’t write shit like that…
Oh and be warned, this is a long post so you’ll need to click on “read more” to see all of the wonderful photos~

Human nature is a funny thing. As little boys, we have all at some point once checked our sisters barbie doll’s private bits, only to find painted on white knickers or a stubby mass of skin coloured nothingness. But most of us grow out of that and eventually get laid. It saddens me to think that otaku still run around doll fairs taking photos like this…
[akibablog]

More of the freak show after the jump…

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While most Japanese students are stressing in a typical shy and withdrawn Japanese student style, possibly even contemplating suicide and/or taking out some fellow classmates, regarding the recently announced across-the-board 10-20% increase in lesson time, some have just flipped. We should all take a moment to appreciate these unique individuals who have broken the shackles of Japanese tradition, and realised that the not only does the system suck, but also that their unique talents lie in the domain of cross-dressing. And this isn’t just a boy thing either - the girls are at it too! Check out the video~

I expect that as you watched that, you like me, realized that nothing beats a good ol’ Thai ladyboy. Ladies and gentlemen, it is a sad world when a real Japanese boy dressed as a schoolgirl loses our affections to a ladyboy.Sorry for editorializing so much today. Truth is, I’m very bored at work.Thanks to [bizarrejapan blog] for this vid, and be sure to check out his new site [japan torrents] for a regular fill of quirky Japanese media of the torrent-able variety!

The Japanese ministry of education consists of three main departments, the smallest of which is concerned with how and what to teach and has a national budget of around $6.54 per annum. The largest department controls who to promote next, which considers factors such as how old they are and… well, nothing else actually. Another department is basically just a think-tank for how to fuck up the foreign teachers, like how to reduce their holidays and make their daily lives miserable.

It seems that that this year the department of how and what to teach was given a record $5 investment to figure out how to increase Japan’s declining birth rate and general lack of interest in sex - at least, lack of interest in sex with your partner; studies show a 317% increase in loli demand and 185% increase in the use of sexual services. The department of how and what to teach, by which I mean the one homeless jack-off that it consists of, has therefore been busy implementing the so-called “position training”. Second graders and up will divert time away from “ceremony and bowing practice” lessons for these additional physical education classes. Someone at byonavi was able to sneak a photograph of these new lessons in action.

Thanks to [dannychoo.com] for showing us how the ministry of education has finally done something useful

Here for you perusal is a selection of top quality kinky, fetish, and fucked up porn from Japan. Each is a torrent, and you’ll need to register a free username at Akiba Online forums before the links will work.

Bondage Girl - Hitomi Hayasaka

Here at Fucked Up / Secret Japan, we’re all about multiculturalism and cultural awareness, so I thought to start off with, a little traditional rope bondage would be in order. In Japanese, the practice is refered to as “nawa shibari”, meaning literally “typing up with rope”, or “kinbaku”, which refers to it’s use in a sexual nature. Anyway, have fun educating yourself culturally, try not to get yourself in a twist, and then move on to the next video!

[torrent link here, remember to register first!]

The girl loves fish ~

Man, even I couldn’t download this one, and that’s saying something. This girl seems to be *really* into her fish, and I wouldn’t mind if it was just sticking fish in random orifices - I mean everyone does that, right? But the scenes of her eating the raw fish with guts and blood all over the place, damn that’s freaky. Have fun!

[torrent here]

The Story of 3 Sisters ~ Loli

Finally, to really fuck you up~ Entirely legal, these girls are all over 18, but they look abnormally young (like a lot of Japanese girls actualy) and pretend to be elementary school age sisters. You can check out a preview (warning: NSFW, movie will start on auto so make sure volume is turned down) at the LADYxLADY studio site here. As far as I can tell from the preview, the sisters of the Asakura household are a happy little bunch who get home before mummy does, and being bored as they are, decide to please each other sexually rather than just play Nintendo Wii, or even go down the fucking park. Enjoy (?)

[give me the torrent now!]

From [dannychoo.com], here’s an interview with an otaku who owns more than a few of candygirl sex dolls. Video is in English from Reuters.

Spent $170,000 on these dolls?! Pfft, cheaper than a real girlfriend. There’s hundreds more pictures @ Mikoto’s site.

Meet Hinata Seto, aka Moeru-tan, star of a new porn aimed specifically at the hardcore otaku culture. The main feature is our sweet heroine getting her pubes shaved. Whatever~

Moetan Cosple Shaving AV is to have sex in a room at a hotel. It has the total of 120min. There are 5 lessons. In lesson 1, she plays with her companion, a gay man, in lesson 2, the story is like an image DVD, in lesson 3, two men who wear masks show up, and so on. There is also a scene of whole transformation.

For more pics, check out the full story @ the new English version of Akiba Blog… You should totally check out the site, but be warned it is highly otaku centred. The english is surprisingly good~!

Ever wondered what exactly is inside those magical wank cups from Japan that make you think “what the fuck would anyone want one of them for” while simultaneously wanting one?

BizzareJapan spreads this load all over your monitor…