Fucked Up Japan

Click the photo thumbnails for big version!

An oft-seen scene in a Japanese “conbini” (convenience store)… Little brother wants a Final Fantasy Potion drink, and the only one around to accompany him is big sis in bra and panties. Seriously, do you have any idea how many times I’ve gone out for a pack of smokes only to be confronted by those? Nearly zero times, total, I swear to god. Want more japanese smut?

You’ll probably need to enlarge this one before you can see what’s going on. I know many of you will scream “photoshopped”, but I suspect this is actually a genuine photo from the yearly fertility festival in Kawasaki, where giant phalluses (phalli?) are paraded through the streets.

These pillows are a super gift idea for the geek in your life, so they can hump away to their favorite underage lolicon anime toddler (I realise the “underage” bit there is redundant, but I wanted to make a point). Rich Otaku can even afford life size loli-dolls, but most just get a pillow. A little pillow talk anyone?

Thanks to [samuraisoapbox] for this one. Yes, Japanese schools are absolute hellholes where the students are forced to memorize hundreds of random squiggles each day (you’ve heard of kanji then eh?), there are rules on what you can have for lunch (don’t even consider bringing cola or chocolate), and having a hair color other than black will mean you get your head spray painted on graduation day “so as not to ruin the photos” (even if it’s your natural hair color!) - but there do seem to be benefits too, as this photo clearly demonstrates. Of course, if you’re a cool English teacher you’ll get hot high school girls jumping on you all the time anyway, but that’s another story.
This is probably the most morally conscious bookshop there has ever been in Japan. Most just put the porn next to the kiddy magazines. Seriously. I’m curious why they write “ADULT ONLY” though, since any Japanese child clearly won’t be able to understand the English. Oh, the irony. Children in Japan are often exposed to sex and perverse stuff from an early age, but surprisingly teenage pregnancy is very rare. Adorned on the walls of even the tamest Otaku shops are explicit figures and lolicon manga. Fundamentalist Christians would have a field day here.

Runners-Up:

You’re going to have to zoom in on this one for sure, Johnny. A fashion style that will sweep the nation as fast as a French letter in the British postal system, while it’s on strike. DannyChoo is convinced those are all full of condensed milk, but you can prophylize (sic) your own guess.

I have often travelled home during vacation time and tried to hang out in arcades like all the cool kids, but something always seems to be lacking compared the Japanese arcades.

Mostly credit due to DannyChoo, lord of otaku related j-smut, Samurai Soapbox and Fucked Gaijin forums.

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From spikedhumor, researchers have made breakthroughs in robot safety - just watch as this perv tries to touch her boobies!

Presumably, we could integrate this technology into upcoming love dolls. That would certainly be interesting if they had a bitchy personality and never let their dirty otaku owners touch them! Just kidding, I love otakus. Honestly, you can touch my boobies any day of the week.

Aimed at the game otaku audience, mayhaps? “Hard lesbians” getting off in a game center / arcade - yay!

via otaku.fm/hobbyblog, screenshots here.

Random bit of info - Japanese people are too lazy to say “game centre”, so they shorten it to “ge-sen” (phonetically). This is one aspect of Japanese language that really pisses me off sometimes - warping 2 or more perfectly acceptable English words into a bastardized shortened version using only a maximum of about 3 or 4 syllabic units. Another example, written phonetically would be “pa-sonaru compyu-ta” (PC) which becomes “pasokon”. And the worst part is, because the original is English, they expect all foreigners to understand this shortened form, which sounds fuck-all like the original. Moreover, there are hundreds of new words like this every year, in the same way new English words are constantly being created with new technology and such, so are Japanized versions of these. More often than not though, they actually had their own Japanese words and even kanji for the concept originally, but the “youf” creates a random new word and forgets the original.

Speaking of bondage, Anonymous reveals the true face of Japanese Santa. Behold!

erog! via dannychoo

Aimed at the game otaku audience, mayhaps? “Hard lesbians” getting off in a game center / arcade - yay!

via otaku.fm/hobbyblog, screenshots here.

Random bit of info - Japanese people are too lazy to say “game centre”, so they shorten it to “ge-sen” (phonetically). This is one aspect of Japanese language that really pisses me off sometimes - warping 2 or more perfectly acceptable English words into a bastardized shortened version using only a maximum of about 3 or 4 syllabic units. Another example, written phonetically would be “pa-sonaru compyu-ta” (PC) which becomes “pasokon”. And the worst part is, because the original is English, they expect all foreigners to understand this shortened form, which sounds fuck-all like the original. Moreover, there are hundreds of new words like this every year, in the same way new English words are constantly being created with new technology and such, so are Japanized versions of these. More often than not though, they actually had their own Japanese words and even kanji for the concept originally, but the “youf” creates a random new word and forgets the original.

More at hobbyblog, originally from 2ch. You can be sure I’m searching 2ch for more hardcore pr0n like this as we speak. I sure as hell hope no students walk in right now.