Fucked Up Japan

Try saying that twice? Ok, backwards too. Mwaha!
A 29 year old sergeant in Fukuoka was first to the scene when a security firm tipped them off about someone tampering with the local neighborhood porno vending machine. 3 officers were immediately dispatched at 4:30 am on a Friday night, but when our star of the show spotted the pair of hooligans, they got into a scuffle and somehow one of them stole his gun and shot him in the ass. Lucky for him, the criminal was straight and it was only a bullet he got.

At least that’s the official story. What I think is more likely is that some loner policeman was desperate for porn at 4 am. The attackers lay in waiting for some poor sod to come along, where they then proceeded to mug him. After all, why exactly would someone rob a porn machine when Japan has the best internet in the world and possibly the most active anonymous file sharing network?

mainichi news via tokyomango

Meet sweet little Mayu Yamamoto of the International Medical Center of Japan, as she accepts the 2007 Ig Nobel Prize at Harvard. She spent the last goddamn how many years of her life working with poo - specifically cow poo, and how to extract Vanilla fragrance and flavoring from it. Let me be the first to say I can’t wait to taste some of the pooey vanilla cookies she’ll be making with all that extract she must have collected. You go girl.

yahoo canada

Let me hypothesize for a moment: Webcams have long been an essential tool in the arsenal of loli-lover, but like all good things, Japan has attempted to improve them even more. So a group of Japanese webcam engineers sat down to research the inadequacies of webcam technology, and the number one complaint in their focus group was “kids can see the camera and get scared”.
Maybe.

So they came up with the puppy-cam! A friendly face you can feel comfortable around…

Next: put speakers in the puppy so it can tell the kids what to take off next teach English conversation, then add wireless functionality and 1 week battery life so uncle Hiro just has to come round on weekends - come on Japan, we’re waiting!

[via japantech]

Buildupstudiosigma.com is the place to check out freaky as hell anime characters come to real life with masks and stuff. Like Chiyo and the gang, from Azumanga Daioh, quite possibly the most hilarious anime and manga ever created. It’s also a great series to learn real Japanese from - especially the dopey character Osaka, who gained her name from her classmates when they heard she was from Osaka. Believe me, this is a very accurate transposition of the imagination of Japanese high school students.

Patrick Macias reports on a cunning new way to disguise your masturbatory habits, by purchasing a Cup Nude. Looking like your regular Cup Noodle, the Cup Nude claims to take less than 3 minutes to satisfy you.

Like all good wank-cups, the insides resemble the insides of a girl. Seriously, can YOU tell the difference? I certainly can’t.

via tokyomango