Fucked Up Japan

Before one can entered the hallowed halls of Otaku-ness, there is a traditional Japanese ceremony that must be performed and then shown to the world on YouTube. One might in fact call it a form of hazing.
The ceremony, handed down from generation of otaku to generation for almost 5 months now, is the ultimate homage (you’ll have to imagine an accent over the o, my keyboard doesn’t do them) to arguably the best Otaku game out there - Idolmaster on the 360. New recruits are forced to enact a meeting with their producer, culminating in a dance performance while wearing a pink dress.

(Skip to about 1/2 way if you just want the dancing!)
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/gD88d7vYJEU" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Shocking, I know. Perhaps even more shocking is that this isn’t a hazing, but just another typical otaku hobby. Hey, we’ve all been there.

Thank you samurai soapbox... who seems to be a little down on this poor guys cross-dressing cosplay efforts - personally I think he’s pretty hot. Hot like a lukewarm iced coffee thats been carelessly left out on a beautiful summers day, defying it’s iced origins to be accepted into the realm of… oh, fuck it.

When I discovered a while back that there was a fetish I didn’t know about yet, frankly my world was rocked. I’ve pretty much come to terms with the injured girls phenomena now, and may even have grown to be a little turned on by them - then along comes this.

Determined to ruin my childhood memories of steaming the Flying Scotsman around the playroom, xxxxxxxEntertainment??? has released a fetish video of a j-girl getting all horny while crushing a model train diorama (see, I can use big words). I’m guessing this is aimed at breaking into the elusive sadistic densha-otaku (train geek) market. Christ, there are probably some enacted model train crash scenes in there too, while the wretched whore crushes the nearby refuelling station with her huge boobies of doom! *Eeeek*

Of course, I knew about crush fetishes, who doesn’t? I just hadn’t heard of this freaky Japanese take on it before.

Via hobbyblog, so go give them some appreciation, cos I’m buggered if I’d search through akiba porn stores for hours to find this kind of weird shit.

*Update* - here’s a video clip I found!

It seems you’re all screaming for a bit of lolicon news lately, so I had a search around and found this site. Someone has taken the trouble to scan Japanese lolicon manga and rewrite all the Japanese with their English translation! Now you too can read the deep story and wonderful characterization of titles such as “How old are you really?“. This particular title involves a girl dressed in school uniform claiming to be really older so that the guy doesn’t feel weird about sleeping with her - this is where you can tell it’s based on fantasy, as any Japanese guy would jump at the chance to have sex with a real schoolgirl.

Strangely, it also highlights the fairly common practice for prostitutes in Japan to dress in school uniform, though it understandably creates difficulty for the police when figuring out the real school girls and those just dressed as school girls for the sake of business; because of course, the police *might* stop an underage prostitute (after abusing her themselves), but arresting a real whore would probably upset the local yakuza - so they have to be real careful you know. Can anyone say corruption at the highest level? Me neither, that’s why I write and don’t do a podcast.

You can also check out all the lolicon stuff they have at J-List.
By the way, if you do feel intrigued by this stuff, remember to read backwards, or you’ll be really confused. I mean, read the panels right to left, top to bottom.

Thanks to samurai soapbox for this sweet video rundown of the to 10 most popular cosplay costumes in Japan right now. Ok, I’ve seen better, but these are kind of cosplay for the masses, available to buy from the store.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/3VQO0bKn9OQ" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Why the hell a boys school uniform ranks at number I’ll never understand. By the way, most of these models appear to be school age, so if you thought they were hot (like I did), that pretty much makes you a pedophile (by current definition).

It seems Japanese guys have finally owned up to having length-challenged penises, and even released a commemorative pair of cosplay pants so the rest of the world can pretend too!

buy them at rinkya, via rinkya blog

Yakuza are still a big part of Japan, but recent efforts by the police have just pushed yakuza further underground rather than eradicate their dealings. It’s becoming harder by the day for honest drug runners and pimps to make a decent living, something I feel we can all associate with in some way. Umm….

Shoko Tendo is 39 years old and still stunning, but her exposed back and arms show her underground childhood living as the daughter of yakuza, and later herself becoming a fully fledged drug-abusing member.

Tendo’s father, the leader of a gang linked to the Yamaguchi-gumi, the largest yakuza group, led a “classic” yakuza life replete with Italian suits, imported cars and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

Raised with strict ideas of honor, she was both spoiled and scolded by the tattooed men who frequented her family home.

But she also faced prejudice and bullying because of her father. In response, she joined a gang, took drugs and become the lover of several gangsters before near-fatal beatings and drug overdoses convinced her to change her life.

You absolutely must go read her memoir, “Yakuza Moon”:
And the full article over at Reuters.

“Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter” (Shoko Tendo)

[via reuters]

More crimes against humanity for you this week. Remember when we had a little bit on ita-sha, the gimped out anime-plastered cars for those few Otaku that can drive? Well, the ones that can’t drive also gimp out their bicycles apparently. Check this shit out?

Word is that a recent spate of hate crimes and muggings have targetted towards Otaku. No sympathy if they’re riding this.

Via DannyChoo.com